“Raising kids is a piece of cake!”No One Ever
There is so much advice out there, sometimes even contradictory, about how to raise a child. At the end of the day, as a Christian, raising children is really an exercise in faith. You can read all the books and articles you can get your hands on, attend parenting conferences, and seek advice from friends and relatives. It really comes down to trusting that God is sovereign and loving, and that He is faithful to provide for your family physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Another thing that I have realized over the past 3 months (yes…our little one is now 3 months old!) is the importance of prioritizing time with my wife. We have realized that since our baby came along, it has become more and more difficult to have time alone to ourselves, even just to have a deep conversation!
There are many reasons/excuses for this, some of which are as follows:
- We are TIRED most of the time, and just can’t wait to catch some zzz’s.
- Baby throws off our schedule. When we plan something for the evening (i.e. meal prep – more on this in a future post), many times the baby will start being fussy or become extra hungry, so plans change all the time.
- There just aren’t enough hours in the day! When I come home from work, we eat, shower, and then it’s time to get baby ready for bed, and then we get ready for bed ourselves. An empty Saturday morning is GOLD because we can sleep in and then do chores and errands together.
The bottom line is, if you want your marriage to last after having a child together, you have to be INTENTIONAL.
We started learning this even before we were married. In any relationship, it is easy to get used to the status quo or just be so busy that you are just fighting to survive and get through the day. It takes both spouses to first desire to maintain their marriage and see it thrive, and secondly taking effort and steps to reach that goal.
Some things we have found helpful to keep our marriage vibrant and exciting are:
- Asking good questions, such as What was your favorite part of today and why? or How can I be praying for you?
- Purposely leaving certain evenings and days free of events/hangouts, so that you can spend time together without the stress of time constraints
- A good hug
- Fun/silly texts throughout the day
- Putting God first (spending time reading the Bible together/separately and praying)
- Taking short trips explore new places, even a new grocery store or market, or a cafe/restaurant
- Keeping in contact with friends and family so you don’t feel isolated/stuck
All in all, I believe it is totally possible to keep your marriage alive and thriving, even after having a child! First, put God first in your marriage, and encourage each other to pursue the Lord first. Second, be intentional! With Christ as your foundation, and a strong vibrant marriage, raising a child is fun and totally doable!
What barriers do you face to a strong vibrant relationship/marriage? How do you keep your relationship/marriage alive and thriving (with or without a child)? Let me know in the comments below!